Try naming some of the qualities of your free, spontaneous self.
For example, here are some of my authentic qualities: outgoing, welcoming, encouraging, inviting, open-minded, creative and expressive.
However, in my history I was shamed for many of these qualities. I was taught that I was too much; that my personality was too big. It made others around me uncomfortable. My natural light was too bright for my adoptive parents. I was different than them.
Therefore, throughout the years I have struggled to accept and step into my deepest and true nature. For example, on a scale of outgoingness I am at the very high end. I have slowly learned to enjoy and embrace this aspect of myself. And, as I have aged, I have learned how to monitor my energy by paying attention to social and cultural clues. Many are still intimidated by my strong personality qualities. I now understand that there will always be someone who is put off or uncomfortable with some of my innate personality traits. I am much more accepting of this truth now.
